Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Life after High School

I swear I can't go anywhere anymore without someone asking me, "So what are the plans for after highschool?" It's an innocent question, but I get so sick of hearing it. My hairdresser asks me, my dentist asks me, old family friends ask me, the cashier at Walmart asks me! Then, if that's not enough there is this constant pushing from the principal and others at school until my mind is spinning so fast I'm scared to even look past tomorrow.

I understand people are curious. I also understand that the people at school are just trying to prepare me for life after highschool. It makes sense. But no one in my immediate family went to college. My sister and my father didn't even graduate from high school. My parents didn't save a college fund for me or my sister because they didn't even consider the notion that someday we'd want to attend college. I was never pushed by my parents to get good grades in school, not even to finish my homework when I was in elementary school. So I developed an awful work ethic from the very start.

This is uncharted territory for me. If I want to go to college, I'm going to be the one paying for it. I don't have the luxury of my family helping me. They're just as broke as I am. No one at home is even pushing me to attend college. My dad actually spent most of my life trying to push me away from it. He's spent more time trying to discourage me from attending college, then encouraging me.

Yes, I'd love to attend college. I want to be able to get a job that will pay enough to help support a family of my own someday. But sometimes it just feels like all of the odds are against me. I'm slow. I've always been slow. It takes me a long time to grasp a firm understanding of anything. I know that doesn't mean I'm stupid. But my grades don't look very spectacular either. They're not horrible, but I definetely don't have a 4.0 grades point average.

So far I'm planning on moving in with my boyfriend, finding a job, and taking classes at a community college in the meantime to raise my grade point average. Then I will go from there. That's my plan. I have a good head on my shoulders and I know what is right for me for right now.

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